Wordless Wednesday - Sweet Dreams

One night found the kids sleeping in the same position when I checked on them before I went to bed. I had to grab my camera...

Random Tuesday Thoughts

• Have I mentioned I really dislike full moons? Why do they have to make some people act so crazy?
• I'm so excited for it to get warm out again tomorrow! Might be able to break out the shorts this weekend :-).
• Brooke pooped in the potty twice in the last week (last Wednesday and Friday)! Both times she told me "Ewww, poop." and I thought she went in her diaper, but hadn't. So I took her diaper off and sat her on the potty and she didn't sit the whole time, but went about 10 minutes later :-). Unfortunately she thinks it's gross and maybe kind of scary and runs away saying "Ewww, cucky" and Friday even cried :-X. I have it on video, but you can see her naked butt, so I don't want to post it lol.
• The string from the Mickey balloon from Brooke's party got detached and now Mickey is stuck to the living room ceiling (how is *that for random?).
• Brooke seems to be getting infatuated with baby dolls and I secretly (or maybe not so secretly) love it.
• I think I'm out of random things to write about for tonight....
  
  

ShooShoos Giveaway

Cat over at 3 Kids and Us (awesome blog, by the way!) is having a giveaway where you can win a free pair of ShooShoos baby/toddler shoes! Entering is SO easy and doesn't take long at all. Go check it out :-).

My baby is 2 :'(

Brooke turned 2 on Friday (yes, I'm behind, as usual). Sooo hard to believe it's been 2 whole years since spending pretty much a week straight in the hospital with preterm labor before she was born at 9:52pm on March 26th, 2008 at 27 weeks 4 days, weighing 2lbs. 10oz. Even harder to believe that despite her early arrival, she is developing right on track (maybe even ahead in some areas) for her actual age and has no health issues. She is just a tiny little peanut, weighing only about 21 1/2lbs. and about 32 1/2in.

We had her birthday party Saturday afternoon at my mom and dad's since they have a bit more room and a more open layout. The theme was Mickey Mouse Clubhouse because Brooke is just in LOVE with Mickey Mouse. She can spot him a mile away when we're at the store lol. The cake I wanted to order was discontinued literally like a week before I ordered, so we ended up getting a Yo Gabba Gabba (another favorite) cake instead. She loved the cake and started digging in while we were singing Happy Birthday. She ended up eating 2 pieces! She was also pretty in to opening gifts. She really made out and got a lot of toys and clothes and even a couple pairs of shoes (another love of hers). Here are just a few pictures from her party!

One of the few pics I got of Ryan :-(.

Brooke, Cole, and Frankie playing on the sunporch.

Gotta point out her awesome shoes (Rocket Dogs) that I got for her on Thursday ;-).

Her first pair of heels...and the heel even lights up! LOL.

The front of the box somehow got smushed in to the cake...oh well.

She loved the cake :-).

Loved eating it, too ;-)

A birthday vent

The day started out fine, not really sure what happened. But now I just have this constant anxious feeling and am on the verge of tears. I hate when I get like this and can't even pinpoint exactly what the issue is. Luckily it doesn't happen very often anymore. But when it does it can be hard to snap myself out of it.

Sometimes I think it's just that life in general feels SO overwhelming....being an adult and a mother and worrying about everything that goes along with that. I tend to worry a lot....sometimes about things I really shouldn't worry about because there's no point in it.

My school situation (or lack thereof) has me SERIOUSLY anxious and stressed out. I feel like I have to go to school, but I really don't WANT to. It's more than not *wanting to...like I said, I am really freaking out about it...to the point it makes me cry.

Today I am also thinking about my birthday two years ago when I was readmitted to the hospital in labor with Brooke, wondering how much longer I was going to be able to keep her safe inside. She turns 2 on Friday and I think it is also hitting me that she is my LAST baby and she really isn't a baby anymore :*(. I don't even know that I would ever want another baby, but the fact that I *can't* have anymore is hard to swallow sometimes....and I will always miss my kids as babies. It goes by SO fast, yet those early days can seem to drag on forever.

Well, this is a pretty depressing post, huh? Ugh. Thought it would help me feel better to type it out, but I don't think it really worked. Oh well.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

• I've been thinking (once again) about shutting this blog down...or at least making it inactive. I suck at writing on it anymore....
• I think Brooke would take 5+ baths a day if possible. Every time I turn around she is taking her clothes off and yelling "A baff!". Even if she just had one.
• I hate full moons. Full moon + Ryan = chaos
• Blogs that have music playing on them bug me. I can't read and listen to music at the same time, so I either mute the sound on the computer or pause/disable the music on the blog before I start reading.
• I am getting a little anxious for Ryan's appointment with the psychiatrist on Thursday. Just not too sure what to expect. And his dad is going along and riding with us since he doesn't have a vehicle anymore and the appointment is about 40 minutes away, so that should make it more interesting. Not that I expect there to be any problems, but it could be awkward.
• I will admit I have somewhat mixed feelings on the fact that he has finally *SEEMED to want to have a (sort of) active role in the kids' lives and see them every other weekend....finally, after 6 months. We shall see if it lasts...
• I wonder how many people *actually read here anymore. Would you PLEASE leave me a comment if you do (even if you've never commented before)?? Maybe it will help me decide on whether or not to keep this up and running. I think anyone that reads here probably either knows me "in real life" and/or is on my Facebook and keeps up with me and the kids there.

Look who's (almost) TWO!

I used to be really anal about not taking the kids for their birthday pictures until after their actual birthday, but I guess I'm mellowing out in my old age ;-). I took Brooke to Sears today even though her birthday isn't until Friday. She cried some at her 1 year pics, but not at her 18 month pics, so I wasn't sure what to expect. As soon as we walked in to the little room she started crying. She was terrified of the big, plastic "2" for some reason. I did get her calmed down pretty fast and used to the "2". Then she was afraid of the stool we had her sit on lol. She loosened up a little bit, but was pretty cautious the whole time. We did manage to get some good shots, though, and it was a little hard to choose!

I ordered Brooke's shirt from Star Creek Creations, her tutu is from Maggie's Rose Garden, and I just happened to find bows to match EXACTLY at Gymboree.

Wordless Wednesday - Sneak Peek...

...at Brooke's birthday outfit.

Wordless Wednesday - Swinging in to Spring

Last year....

Can't wait to see what she thinks of them this year!

Random Tuesday Thoughts

Jayme has inspired me to take part in Random Tuesday Thoughts, so here we go....

• The school finally completed their autism evaluation on Ryan that was first "ordered" back in September. It was just started a couple weeks ago, so it took that long just to get the ball rolling. We go on the 25th to see the psychiatrist and go over their findings and see what they have to say.

• Brooke is going to give me gray hair. Tonight she climbed the entertainment center to get the remote, which was on the very top. She fell, but didn't get hurt. She was just TICKED because after all that I took the remote from her anyway.


• Today *really felt like spring! It was amazing! :::crossing fingers for no more (significant) snow:::


• I LOVE Scrabble. And I LOVE that today I found Scrabble Jr. at Goodwill for $1.99. Ryan, Miss Arlene (his TSS), and I played it this afternoon. Ryan loved it!


• I am TERRIFIED of going back to school, but know I need to do it. I picked medical coding and I am hoping it is at least tolerable. There is nothing I can think of that I really *want to go for :-/. I should be starting in May....


• At least once a day, Brooke takes her clothes off and demands a "baff" (bath). LOL. It is cute, but she gets VERY mad if she doesn't actually get a "baff".


• Several times a day, Brooke tells me "bye bye". When I ask her where she wants to go, she says "Walmart". LOL. She just wants to go *somewhere, doesn't really care *where.


• I am addicted to reading other people's blogs. Right now my favorite is Yo Mama's Blog. I'm not sure I've read one of her posts (and I've read them all) without LOL (literally) at least once.


• Not only is Brooke's birthday this month (26th), but so is mine (24th), my brother-in-law's (25th), my mom's (28th), AND my dad's (31st)! Insanity. Brooke is having a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse birthday party :-).


• I am head over heels in love with a perfect (for me) guy and I couldn't be happier or more thankful for him! I can't even describe how amazing it is to be in a healthy relationship with someone that I can really talk to and know is there for me (and the kids). It is like I found a piece of me that I never knew was missing :-).

And that's all for now, folks! 'Night!

It's been 6 months...

....almost to the day, since Brooke was sick, pretty much same symptoms except this time she didn't get all the nasty mucus (YAY).

September 6, 2009

March 3, 2010

But my real reason for blogging tonight is that today marks 6 months since we moved in to this apartment. In some ways it feels like much longer and in other ways it seems like just yesterday. I was really excited to be starting a new chapter in my life, although it was scary at the same time. I had never lived on my own, having gotten married at 19 and still lived at home up to that point. And now I had two kids to worry about as well. But I knew that I had a lot of support between family and friends and that somehow it would all be okay. Brooke was just coming down with a yucky cold and had a fever and was very clingy that evening, so the first night was a bit stressful. We had a very long night and I couldn't wait for morning. It felt very lonely. Surprisingly Ryan went to bed just fine that night in his new room in our new place. I didn't expect that, so it was a nice surprise.

It still amazes me sometimes that I really did it. That I finally got up the guts and courage to move forward and do what needed to be done. I tried for so long to make things work or even just pretend that everything was okay and that I could just deal with what was going on and not have to split our (far from) happy little family up. But it finally got to the point where I knew I just had to do it, no matter how scary it was, if not for me then at least for the kids. And I have no regrets about doing it. There was absolutely no saving the marriage. I have been happier in the last 6 months than I have been the last 6 years. It took a long time to do what needed to be done and I am so proud of myself that I finally did it :-).

Wordless Wednesday - Wishing for Spring

Brooke modeling some of her spring/summer wardrobe....

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

Ryan came home yesterday dressed as the Cat in the Hat in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday today :-). They are having a birthday party at school today, but unfortunately Ryan had to miss it because he has a cold and was coughing nonstop the first hour after he got up this morning, so I kept him home. His nose is quite the leaky faucet, too. He doesn't seem too upset by missing it, though. Today is also Read Across America day and in honor of that, Ryan's teacher sent home a paper a couple weeks ago inviting parents to come in and read a book to the class sometime this month. I'm scheduled to go in Thursday afternoon (hopefully Ryan is feeling better by then) and I think I'm going to read the book llama llama mad at mama that Ryan just got from his book order last week. It's a really cute book. He also got llama llama red pajama, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (his request), and a few other ones. By the way, how sad is it that I'm nervous about reading to a class of kindergarteners?? LOL. The school is also having a Family Reading Night on March 17th that I plan on taking him to. Brooke will probably stay with my parents because I don't think she's quite ready for that yet and I don't want to be chasing her all over the place or listening to her scream in the stroller ;-).

The sickies have paid a visit to Brooke, too. She woke up sneezing and with a runny nose and was running a slight fever of 99.1 (under her arm). She is still eating and drinking great, she's just a bit more crabby than usual. Just hoping it doesn't turn in to an ear infection or anything like that.

Speaking of reading, I've been told that Ryan is one of the best readers, if not THE best reader, in his class :-). His preschool class last year was very focused on reading and I know that helped a lot, plus he just seems to be a little sponge. He also enjoys reading and I really hope he stays that way! I LOVE to read and I'm so happy that he's following in my footsteps so far :-).