Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Pray for Stellan!


This sweet baby boy needs lots of prayers and healing vibes sent his way! You can also visit his mom's blog through my blog list on the right side of the page ~ my charming kids.

Monday, December 29, 2008

This is what it looks like....

...when a baby gags herself with wrapping paper...

I snapped this pic at *just the right second. LMAO. I just think she looks hilarious!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Christmas pictures

I took a TON of pictures on Christmas...umm, 400 I think. LOL. Here are just a FEW highlights ; ).

Brooke on her first Christmas (after the ER visit)!

Too bad Ryan isn't smiling! I wasn't going to torture him trying to get a "perfect" pic...he had to wait long enough to open gifts, lol.

Here's a pretty good one : ).

Her first gift!! She was SO into tearing that paper. Ryan was NOT in to presents until he was like 3. LOL.

This is fun!

She was in to eating the paper, too ; ).

One of Ryan's Wii games he got. I think this was Cars. We're a little behind on the whole Cars infatuation here, lol.

Yes, there were a few meltdowns that day when Little Miss Brooke got tired. She took a nap right after we were done with gifts!

Probably Ryan's favorite gift...a mini 5-in-1 game table.

She *really LOVED the paper ; ).

Ryan with his stocking. I didn't get a pic of Brooke with hers (she was too cranky) : (. She needed a stocking and I ended up getting Ryan a new one, too. Brooke's is the same as his. I like that you can put pics in them : ).

One of the best pics I got of Brooke on Christmas : ). This was at my parents' house that evening.

Ryan got this sign for his room from my sister's boyfriend. I love it!! It will go with his sports themed bedding. See how thrilled Ryan was? LOL. This was in the evening at my parents' house...he was T-I-R-E-D!

And there's the cat, laying under the tree that night after all the madness was over! LOL.

I have another picture to post of Brooke from Christmas Day, but it's such a great picture that it needs a post all it's own ; ). Coming soon....

Friday, December 26, 2008

Happy 9 Months, Brooke!

How can it be that three quarters of a year have gone by since Brooke's birth?! Craziness! She is getting so dang big! She's not yet scooting around, but I bet by next month she is! She really gets around by rolling. She's still loving the baby food and is about ready to move on to Stage 2 foods. She is a little social butterfly and craves attention. She absolutely loves and adores all her family members, especially Ryan. She gets SO excited when he approaches her. When she wants someone, she reaches and stretches and smiles and squeals until they pick her up...so cute : ). But when you walk away from her and she doesn't want you to, she lets you know! I wish I could say she's consistently sleeping through the night, but she's not, although she's back to sleeping straight through more often that not, so I can't complain too much ; ). I wish she'd take better naps, though! She's a big catnapper now, rarely sleeping for more than 20-30 minutes at a time. She's a stubborn and feisty little girl and is already trying to get into everything and will grab for anything in reach, which automatically goes in to her mouth if she gets a hold of it! I love seeing her personality come through more and more and it's been so fun getting to know her! : )

Downtime Sleepy Hat

If these didn't cost so much, I would so be buying one for Brooke....

....because this is how she now goes to sleep for her naps...

It just really seems to help her relax and zone out to fall asleep. And yes, she sucks her thumb to go to sleep as well. These Sleepy hats are actually a really good idea, I think. If I knew this phase would last for awhile, I would probably buy one despite how much they are because it's kind of a pain at times keeping the blanket in place, plus I'm wondering if she was wearing the hat, if maybe it would help her sleep longer. Oh well, we'll just make do with the blanket, I think ; ).

P.S. Nine month pics coming soon!

Thursday, December 25, 2008


I love Christmas, but it always seems like a neverending day and I'm always exhausted by the end of it, lol. Of course, it doesn't help when you have a baby that decides to sleep like crap the night before, either ; ). Brooke took a late nap again yesterday and didn't go to bed until about 9:30 (her usual bedtime is 8:30). She woke back up at 10 and back to sleep at 10:30. She was sleeping in the pack'n'play in the dining room and Doug slept on the recliner and I slept on the couch (Ryan was on the air mattress in his room)....because all our beds are here at my mom and dad's. So anyway, Doug and I went to go to sleep around 11...Doug fell asleep almost right away, but right as I was drifting off to sleep, Brooke woke up...it was about 11:30. I rocked her back to sleep and laid her down 5 different times in the next hour and she just kept waking right back up. Finally I tried feeding her thinking maybe she was hungry and that's why she wouldn't sleep, but she only drank an ounce. After laying her down the 5th time and her waking up, I handed her off to Doug. She settled in on his chest and went to sleep. I didn't wake up again until I heard her crying around 4:30-5:00, although he says she was up and down a lot all night. I'm surprised I didn't hear her. Ryan was downstairs by a quarter to 7 this morning, even though I told him to wait until we came up to get him and Brooke woke up then, too (he *just learned last week how to climb over his gate, lol). It was dark in the living room and Ryan didn't even notice the presents under the tree, lol (probably b/c he was still half asleep since it was so dang early!)...so I hurried up and covered them with this huge blanket I have. (You see, normally, he doesn't come downstairs until he's dressed and has had breakfast in his room...that's how it was when I was a kid and I love that tradition...the suspense was great, lol.)

So anyway, Brooke wasn't ready to eat right away, so I got Ryan dressed and got him his breakfast so all I had to do was feed her and then dress her and we'd be ready to open stuff. She kept crying while I was changing her, which was odd, and when I was done and sat her up, I realized she wasn't moving her right arm. I tried moving it and she started screaming. Scared the CRAP out of me. I remember reading a post from a girl on a message board several months ago about something similar happening with her baby girl's arm one morning and she took her to the doctor and found out she had Nursemaid Elbow. She had no idea what happened to cause it, so I started thinking maybe that's what was wrong with Brooke. I told Doug she needed to go to the ER...you could tell she was in so much pain :*(. I had Doug take her in because I hadn't showered and I hate leaving the house without showering : /. They did x-rays and didn't find anything. But I guess when they tried to x-ray her right arm, they couldn't get her to bend it. So then they did the left arm (I guess for comparison??), she started moving her right arm normally again. They said something may have slipped out of place, but must've went back on its own without them doing anything. Whew! So we had an interesting start to our Christmas!

The rest of the day went great, though. Brooke loved tearing the wrapping paper off the presents and she loved (trying to) eat it. LOL. She likes the new toys, too ; ). Ryan helped her completely unwrap everything and of course he loved tearing in to his things. His 2 favorite things were a mini 5-in-1 game table (pool, basketball, bowling, soccer, and "air" hockey) and Mario Super Sluggers for the Wii. Some other things he got (not just from us, but from grandparents and aunts and uncles) are Sonic and Cars for the Wii, Fisher Price My First Skates, Cars (the movie), a Cars robe, Fisher Price learning clock, a remote control car AND a remote control truck, books, etc. Brooke got 3 baby dolls, Fisher Price stroller/push toy, Fisher Price spinning something or other zoo (LOL), Fisher Price gumball machine, Fisher Prices My First Purse, etc. Oh and I'm bummed because I got Ryan this cute Cars watch for in his stocking and it's ENTIRELY too freaking big for his skinny little wrist : (. I don't think we'll find a watch that will fit him : (.

We opened gifts at home and then went over to Doug's parents' house for dinner and ate around 12:30. We cleaned up and headed over to Doug's brother's house around 2 to open gifts because they have a new game room and have a lot more room for everyone than at his parents' house. We left there and headed to my parents' house around 4:30. Doug just left about a half an hour ago. Today seemed just like any other Christmas, so it's weird to be sitting here now with him at home. Brooke was wiped out and in bed at 8:00 (a first!) and I'm just waiting for her to wake up, but hopefully she won't until tomorrow morning, lol.

So all in all, it was a great day : ). How was your Christmas? : )

Pics coming soon (hopefully)!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

' What is he doing?', you ask yourself...

Picking toe fuzz, of course.

Do I have a strange kid, or what? And yes, Brooke thoroughly enjoyed it...lmao.

Oh and the bandaid on Ryan's head is covering a tiny scab that he won't leave his fingers off of...he's a HUGE scab picker : X. I'm surprised he leaves the bandaid on.

I guess this wasn't really a "Wordless" Wednesday...oh well : P.

*Oreo Balls Recipe Correction*

I kinda left out a step in the Oreo Balls recipe below...ooops. After you roll them in to balls, you're supposed to chill them in the freezer for at least 2 hours or overnight, before you dip them in chocolate : ).

I just finished dipping mine...can't wait to try one later!

Almost here!

I so cannot believe that today is Christmas Eve!! It doesn't really feel like it is and the rain (instead of snow) outside isn't helping.

All the kids' gifts are wrapped. I went over to the house Saturday night and me and Doug wrapped them. I didn't even plan it this way, but they each have 7 gifts! I wish we could've gotten them more, but honestly, Ryan was so hard to shop for that anything else we would've gotten for him probably would not have even been played with and Brooke is so little, she doesn't need a million baby toys. In the past, Ryan has gotten probably closer to 15 gifts (one or 2 bigger things and the rest smaller stuff), but I think from now on we'll try to stick to under 10 gifts for each and just get them stuff they really want or we know they'll play with. Because I know past Christmases Ryan has gotten stuff that he's only played with a handful of times, so what's the point?

The kids and I are going over to the house to spend the night tonight. I have some stuff to do before we head over there. I have to bath both kids, pack the suitcase with our crap, dip the Oreo balls I made last night in chocolate, and whatever else I think of in the meantime. I got the recipe for the Oreo balls from a friend. All you do is mix a softened pack of cream cheese with a smashed bag of Oreos and roll them in to balls and then dip in melted chocolate. I found out the hard way last night that it works much better if after you mix the 2, you sit them in the fridge for awhile to firm up some, otherwise it ends up sticking to your fingers WAY too much. Even after sitting them in the fridge awhile, they were still sticking pretty good, but not nearly as bad. If I would've had more time, I would've left them in there longer.

Brooke slept through the night again last night after having 2 rough nights where she slept in my bed the bulk of the night. She did wake up last night at 10 when I went up to bed, but she went right back to sleep and slept until 6, which is early for her to get up, but oh well. She drank a bottle and played a little bit and was sleeping again by 8. I think I hear her now actually, but she's not crying. Sometimes she likes to just chill in her crib for a little while when she wakes up from a nap....and other times she starts crying right away. If she wakes up happy, then I leave her go for a little bit. She's still sneezing some, but I think she's on the mend, especially if sleeping well last night is an indication. Ryan isn't really sneezing or coughing anymore, but still sounds congested. And of course they shared it with me! LOL. I'm feeling better today than yesterday, though.

Well, I think I've rambled enough! You probably won't hear from me again until after Christmas. Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!! : )

Monday, December 22, 2008

'Tis the Season

The sickies are here again. Ryan and Brooke both have colds again (they were both just sick right before Thanksgiving). Ryan doesn't even act sick, but Brooke is pretty crabby and she wants held almost all the time. Fun fun fun. I feel bad for her, though. Poor little thing. She went to bed at 9:30 last night (late for her) and woke up 3 times between then and midnight, so I ended up putting her in bed with me : /. Hopefully she doesn't get too used to that, but we both needed sleep and I knew that was where she'd sleep best. We'll see how tonight goes. Sucks that they're sick, but at least they should both be all better (or almost all better) by Christmas!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Merry Christmas!

I finally got the kids' Santa pic and our Christmas card scanned last night. Just thought I'd share : ).

Wish I would've thought and moved Brooke's red bow over to the other side so you could actually see it. LOL. But this is a great pic and I can't complain!
Isn't Santa so REAL looking? He's at the mall every year, *every time I go up there...he's the one there. He's awesome!

This did not scan well, but you get the idea!

Friday, December 19, 2008

I just wanted to say...

THANK YOU to everyone that left such warm, supportive comments in response to this post. It's good to know I have so much love and support from people that I haven't even met (well, most of them). This is the 2nd hardest thing I've had to go through in my life (the 1st is losing Zachary) and I have so many different emotions that switch on and off like running water. So many "What if's...?" and "If only's...". But I can't change the past. I can only live in the present and look forward to the future and keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason and everything will work out the way it's supposed to...because I truly do believe that, even if I lose sight of it at times.

The kiddos are spending the night with their Daddy tonight and will be back tomorrow afternoon. I get to sleep in tomorrow (which to me sleeping in is like 8-8:30, lol)! I think maybe I'll go play the Wii now ; ). I could go read more of Breaking Dawn, which is the 4th and final book in the Twilight series, but as much as I am loving it, I am not looking forward to reading the last page and being done with it because I hate finishing good/great books! If you haven't read these books, you should ; ). Vampires and such are not my usual genre, I guess you would say, but I cannot put these books down! My sister and I are going to go see the movie soon, which we're sure won't be near as good as the book, but we want to see it anyway ; ). Okay, I'm going way off on a tangent, so I'll shut up. Go find the first book and start reading! ; )

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Feeling a little better

The kids are with Doug for the evening, so I thought I'd hop on and post another update.

My mood has improved since the last time I posted. I get a little crazy under normal circumstances when I'm sleep deprived, but under the current circumstances, I got EXTREMELY crazy with Brooke not sleeping great. It really magnified an already difficult situation. But she has slept straight through the night the last 3 nights and that coupled with some other recent events has cleared my head a little and given me the chance to put things in perspective again. By the way, I *think I figured out why Brooke hadn't been sleeping well at night. Ever since we got here a week ago this past Friday, I'd been putting her on my mom and dad's bed to sleep for her naps. Their bedroom is on the main floor and it just seemed easier. Plus, Brooke seemed to sleep better there. I think it backfired on me, though, and she wasn't sleeping at night because she was used to napping on the bed and preferred it. So Sunday I started putting her down for naps in her crib again and wouldn't you know it, she is now sleeping great at night again, ever since Sunday night. Coincidence? Maybe. But whatever the reason is, I'm loving it! She's not napping that great, but I'd rather deal with that than sleepless nights!
Ryan has actually been behaving better as well. I'd say we're back to the typical 5 year old mouthiness and attitude. LOL. I've just been trying to be very consistent with him and also keep my temper in check. It really does help!

Brooke is still not eating great and I don't know if it's her teething or what. Like I said, though, she seems to go back and forth between eating great and not eating great. Aside from actually eating less, she is also being more of a pain to eat. Sometimes she is just too nosy to drink her bottle! Seriously, she has to see everything that is going on and if she can't do that while drinking, then she won't drink. And if I try taking her in a quiet room with no distractions, she just breaks her neck still trying to see what's going on! She's doing fantastic with baby food, though. She eats that like a champ! She had green beans for the first time yesterday and to my surprise really seemed to like them! She even ate them again today (sometimes she'll eat something once and then act like she hates it the next time you give it to her, lol).

Ryan is super excited for Christmas and has been crossing off the days on the calendar. I still need to get over to the house and wrap the kids' gifts. Doug said he would do it, but I want to wrap at least some of them. I love to wrap and besides, it just wouldn't be the same if I didn't wrap any of their stuff! I'm pretty sure the kids and I are spending the night over there Christmas Eve. And you all may be surprised to learn that I'm actually going to be going to Doug's parents' house for dinner (and then to his brother and SIL's house to open gifts b/c they have more room) and tonight my mom also invited Doug over here for Christmas dinner. I'm so happy that it seems we're going to be able to all still get along and have holidays together. I think it will be great for the kids. My best friend's parents are divorced and still spend most holidays together and I know she really likes that. I'm actually sort of regretting my decision to move out before Christmas, but on the other hand, I really do think it was the best/right decision at the time. It was going to happen eventually and at the time, I didn't think my mental health could take the waiting it out until after the holiday. Being away and out of the situation has probably made me think now that I could've waited it out, but at the time it was something I knew I couldn't do.

Okay, enough about that...I'm going to post some pictures now! (Please excuse the messed up captions and odd spaces between pics and such...Blogger is being a PITA and won't let me fix them : P.)

The kids the night we put the tree up at home...2 days before we left.

This hat was Ryan's for his 2nd Christmas.

And I think Ryan needs a bigger hat. LOL. I got this one last year, I don't remember where.

So stinkin' cute.

She sits so well now! I got this sleeper at Walmart. It came with a Baby's 1st Christmas bib and a Baby's 1st Christmas ornament.

One of Brooke's new diaper covers...it's from my brother for Christmas. He plays the guitar ; ).

She's so smiley.

I don't get very good pics of him anymore, lol.

Friday, December 12, 2008

In case anyone is looking for an update...

The kids are doing okay, I guess. Ryan's tantrums and attitude are worse than ever. Last night he threw a really big tantrum while playing the Wii, which resulted in my dad yelling at him (which I can count on one hand how many times my dad has yelled at Ryan in the 5 years he's been alive, so what does *that tell you?). It took forever to get Ryan calmed down (not b/c of my dad yelling at him...or at least not *only b/c of that...he just takes FOREVER to calm down when he's upset/angry) and I ended up taking him upstairs to do so. I finally got him calmed down and we were coming back downstairs and he fell (rolled) down the steps : /. The steps are carpeted, as well as the dining room floor he landed on, and he didn't get hurt, but he was VERY upset. Ugh, what a night it was.

Brooke has not been drinking as much as she was, but it's not significantly less and I don't *think it has to do with the new surroundings or anything because she seems to cycle between eating really well to eating not so well. I had her in for her 2nd synagis shot on Wednesday and she weighed 14lbs. 6.5oz., so she gained 1lb. exactly in 4 weeks, which is really good so apparently her body knows what it needs : ). She has not been sleeping great, although the last 2 nights have gone better. Again, this is something that started before we moved in here. For some reason, she stopped sleeping through the night. She started going to bed earlier (by 9 most nights vs. 10-10:30), but I don't think that has anything to do with her not sleeping all night either because she's been waking usually around 2am to eat, so it doesn't make sense that she would go from sleeping 10 to 7am to sleeping from 9 to 2am, ya know? Anyway, the last 2 nights are the only nights that she's *only woken once to eat and gone right back to sleep and stayed in her bed. Every other night, she's been up at least one other time aside from waking to eat and has ended up in bed with me before morning. Hopefully we're getting away from that trend b/c I just don't sleep well with her in bed with me. She's also spent the last 4 nights in the pack'n'play instead of the crib and for some reason seems to do better in there.

Wednesday afternoon, Doug's mom took me and Brooke to her synagis appointment. Then we picked Ryan up at my mom and dad's and went to Denny's for dinner. Doug met us there. Originally we were just going up to the mall to take the kids to see Santa, hence why Doug was going as well (and his mom just likes to go along...my parents were going to go, too, but to be honest, they aren't ready to see Doug yet). So we ate at Denny's and then went to the mall. The kids did great with Santa (Brooke didn't even cry!) and we got a cute picture, which I unfortunately cannot post b/c my parents don't have a scanner and I can't get a good picture of it with my camera. When I go over to the house to wrap the kids' Christmas presents, I'll try to remember to scan it. We also went to Hallmark and I got Brooke's first Christmas ornament.


I'm pretty peeved because Ryan has these adorable puppy ornaments from there that I just LOVE, like this:


And I've always loved the girly kitten version they had and now that I have a girl, it appears they aren't making them (or the puppy ones) anymore!!


It's not like I can buy them off Ebay or anything, either, because they all have the year on them : (. Oh well. What can ya do?

I've saved myself for last in this little update. I'm not doing that great. Before I moved out, I was all gung ho for this and deep down, I know it's the right thing to do. But it's getting harder and harder to actually live with the decision. It is hard being a single parent and I've only been at it for a week (AND I have a bit of help from my parents). Some days I just don't feel like doing it. It all seems so hard and so overwhelming. But this is what I HAVE to do and I just have to keep trucking. I never thought my life would end up like this....

The kids are going with Doug tonight to his company's kids' Christmas party. Hopefully they behave, especially Ryan AKA Mr. Attitude. Tomorrow the kids and I and my mom are going to an out of town birthday party. Zachery's mom, Heather, and I started talking over 5 years ago on an AOL message board while we were pregnant with Ryan and Zachery. We discovered we live less than 2 hours apart! Her and her husband, Jeramy, and baby Zach came to Ryan's 1st birthday party and the rest is history! We've been great friends ever since : ). This is my first time EVER making the drive out there and I'm a bit nervous b/c I just don't like driving all that much (and there's no way my mom would drive, lol), but I really want to see them, so I'm sucking it up and doing it!

Well, Brooke is starting to fuss, so I better go see what she needs. Tootles.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


I've let on a few times recently that something was going on. Something that was affecting my mood this holiday season. I can't share details, but I'm ready to give a little glimpse in to what I've been referring to.

Friday night, the kids and I moved in with my parents. Things just aren't working between Doug and I and there's no fixing it. So I am officially a single mom. Hard to believe that after 10 years together (6 years of marriage), it's come to this. I never would have thought it, but like one of my friends said, if you didn't think it would be forever, you wouldn't get married. I just never pictured my life turning out like this. But it's time to move on and I'm going to do my best to give the kids the best life I can and of course their dad will still be in their life, as well as the rest of his family. They have no ill feelings towards me and I plan to keep in touch with them and would do that even if it weren't for the kids. We'll be living here with my parents until I can get on my feet. It's scary to think of being on my own (I *never have been before!), but I just have to believe in myself and have faith that everything WILL work out the way it's supposed to.

Things between Doug and are so far civil, maybe even on the verge of friendly, which is how I want it to be for the kids.

It sucks that this is happening right before the holidays, but it was something that couldn't be put off. I think the kids are going to have a great Christmas regardless.

Please keep the kids, especially, in your thoughts and prayers that this transtion goes as smoothly as possible!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

NICU follow-up

We took Brooke today for her first NICU follow-up appointment. They like to track the babies for awhile to see how they are doing. She weighed 14lbs. 15.6oz. (fully clothed) and was 26in. long. That put her in the 75th percentile for weight and 85th percentile for length for her ADJUSTED age of 5.5 months.

At first she I didn't think she was going to "perform" for them, lol. She was being very serious and just staring at them and the toys. Eventually she warmed up and showed them what she could do. They put her at a 6 month level developmentally, which is really great! They said she's doing great and loved how social and interactive she was. They don't want to see her back until next December : ).

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Ryan (16 months old)

Brooke (8 months old)
The sleeper is size 12m and a little big, but so cute and I'm so excited she gets to wear it, too ; ).