It's been 6 months...

....almost to the day, since Brooke was sick, pretty much same symptoms except this time she didn't get all the nasty mucus (YAY).

September 6, 2009

March 3, 2010

But my real reason for blogging tonight is that today marks 6 months since we moved in to this apartment. In some ways it feels like much longer and in other ways it seems like just yesterday. I was really excited to be starting a new chapter in my life, although it was scary at the same time. I had never lived on my own, having gotten married at 19 and still lived at home up to that point. And now I had two kids to worry about as well. But I knew that I had a lot of support between family and friends and that somehow it would all be okay. Brooke was just coming down with a yucky cold and had a fever and was very clingy that evening, so the first night was a bit stressful. We had a very long night and I couldn't wait for morning. It felt very lonely. Surprisingly Ryan went to bed just fine that night in his new room in our new place. I didn't expect that, so it was a nice surprise.

It still amazes me sometimes that I really did it. That I finally got up the guts and courage to move forward and do what needed to be done. I tried for so long to make things work or even just pretend that everything was okay and that I could just deal with what was going on and not have to split our (far from) happy little family up. But it finally got to the point where I knew I just had to do it, no matter how scary it was, if not for me then at least for the kids. And I have no regrets about doing it. There was absolutely no saving the marriage. I have been happier in the last 6 months than I have been the last 6 years. It took a long time to do what needed to be done and I am so proud of myself that I finally did it :-).