Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
And she weighed 13lbs. 6oz.! So she gained 1.5lbs. in a month. The doctor was happy with that and so am I : ). At least I know she's eating enough!
Pics coming later hopefully, since I FINALLY figured out I could put some up without have to resize them and all that jazz!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
P.S. She goes back in for shots tomorrow...I can't wait to see how much she weighs!
Friday, October 24, 2008
I wanted another baby for a LONG time and for awhile, I never thought it would happen. I started wanting to try again, but Doug didn't come around for a long time after that. I didn't think he ever would. I wanted another baby and I knew what taking care of a baby entailed. But I have many moments lately where I just feel so empty and overwhelmed and wish that I could go back to only having Ryan. (Isn't that HORRIBLE??) Life was so much easier...I mean, he's 5 now! He doesn't need me as much as Brooke needs me. Sometimes I just feel TOO needed. Sometimes I just feel like running away. I get frustrated very easily and am quick to lose my temper. Sometimes I don't even feel like "dealing with" Brooke. But I do. Rest assured, she has not been neglected in any way. I don't feel like this ALL the time. Sometimes I honestly enjoy her and taking care of her and I just sit and think about how blessed I am to have these 2 miracles in my life. I really am blessed! It's getting harder to see that at times, though. I knew this could not be normal. Not to the extent I'm feeling it anyway. When I was pregnant with her, I was so scared of losing her like we lost Zachary. I counted down the weeks, praying she would stay put in my womb. I was SO excited for her to be in our lives. So no, what I'm feeling cannot be normal!
Yesterday, I went to see the midwife at my OB/GYN's office. I filled out the PPD screening thing and the she said my score was pretty high. She asked if I'd had any problems with depression or anxiety in the past. When I was a junior in high school, I was hospitalized for 10 days with depression. It was bad...worse than it is now and I didn't want it to get that bad. Back then I was to the point where I couldn't even bring myself to smile. I didn't feel like doing ANYTHING. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital like I said. They put me on Zoloft and Klonopin and it really helped. I was on it for about a year and then was okay to come off it. I told the midwife about this and she gave me a prescription for Zoloft since that helped me before. She also had me get bloodwork done to check my thyroid. I'm supposed to call in 2 weeks if I'm not feeling any better and I go back the beginning of December to see her.
Hopefully I'm on the road to feeling like myself again!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
1. my family
2. reading a good book
3. Chinese food
4. hearing my kids laugh
5. being able to sleep all night (8-9 hour straight) without having to get up to feed a baby
6. my camera/taking pictures of my kids
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
BUT I am happy that she is sleeping the same in her crib as she did in her bassinet and not waking frequently or anything like that! Tonight I'm going to try swaddling her before she gets her bedtime bottle (because she almost always falls asleep while drinking it) and see if that makes a difference when I lay her down the first time!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I KNOW we got super lucky with Ryan's sleep habits. When he came home from the NICU, we had to feed him every 3 hours around the clock. THAT was hard (Brooke came home eating every 4 hours, which was better). Then he went back in 2 weeks later with congestive heart failure and was in for 3 weeks. Came home for 5 days and was still eating every 3 hours, but went back in for pneumonia and was in another 3 weeks. When he came home that time, he had a feeding tube through his nose (long story) and we had to work him back up to taking all his bottles by mouth (which luckily was no problem) and I had to get up in the middle of the night to change his feeding bag. But once he got back on all bottles, we were allowed to let him sleep all night if he wanted to and see if he gained okay, and he did both! At that point he was about 9 months actual/5 months adjusted. And he's slept through the night ever since, minus when he was younger and would be sick and then one phase he went through around 2 years where he would wake up occasionally crying in the middle of the night.
Soooo Brooke is not yet as old as he was when he started sleeping through the night (she has another month and a half to go), so I'll try not to worry about her NOT sleeping through the night until then. LOL.