good update : )

First of all, here's my belly pic from last Saturday, taken at 14 weeks. (I'll be 15 weeks tomorrow...holy crap!)

I haven't had any more discharge since Saturday evening (::knock on wood::), so I guess maybe it was just from having the cerclage done. I've been feeling pretty good lately and haven't been getting sick much. There's still some foods I just cannot eat or even stomach the thought of. I've been getting heartburn a lot, but at least it doesn't last long. I never got heartburn with Zachary or Ryan....maybe this is a girl (doubt it), lol. I got the best gift on Christmas Eve...I felt the belly bean kick me for the first time! I've only felt it a handful of times since then. I can't wait until it gets more frequent : ). My next appointment is Wednesday (the 2nd). Doug is going with me to that one : ). I'm hoping to get a peek at the sex, but I'm afraid it's going to be too soon to tell for sure (or at all). I'll be 15w 4d. I guess we'll see!

Our Christmas was great : ). Ryan loved everything, I think. After he opened each thing, he just wanted to play with it and we had to keep persuading him to open the rest of them. LOL. He opened them all, though : ). His faves were his Gameboy Advance SP and a huge stuffed horse. He also really likes the VTech Globe and VTech Write & Learn Letter Pad.

I was really surprised Christmas morning. I woke up to a new kitchen table and chairs! We desperately needed them. Our old set was falling apart. I had seen the new set in a Black Friday ad and mentioned to Doug's mom that I liked it. She told me to tell Doug to get it "for me", but I never did. So she did! And he went and got it : ). He had it hiding in his mom and dad's garage and him and his dad put it together over the weekend and my dad and brother came over Christmas Eve after I was asleep to help him bring it in. I love it : ). Doug also surprised me with another great gift. A necklace with an angel pendant. He said it reminded him of Zachary and he got it so I could wear it throughout my pregnancy and have Zachary watch over the baby and me :*). Here are a few pics!

You can expect another update after my appointment Wednesday! : ) I'll try to have it up by Thursday night at the latest.

let the games begin...

TMI (Too Much Information) ALERT! (This post is full of it. LOL.)

:::sigh::: It all started Tuesday night after I went shopping for a couple of hours. I got home and went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was some light beige-colored mucous type stuff on the toilet paper (and yes, I check it *every time I use the restroom, lol). I tried not to freak out since it wasn't pink or red. I figured I probably over did it by shopping (my back was sore, too). I had it a few more times before going to bed, none over night, but then again once or twice in the morning. I called Dr. K.'s office and left a message for the nurse. She talked to the doctor and called me back and said I probably just over did it and as long as it wasn't red and I wasn't having cramping or pain that I didn't need to be seen and I was to take it easy and no more shopping. So I did nothing the rest of the day, lol. I didn't have it again until yesterday morning after going #2 and only 2 times. Then it showed up again today after I vacuumed, later in the day after going #2 again, and then one other time for no apparent reason. Grrrr. It's SO hard not to worry! Although I had the same thing with Ryan that started right around the same time and I had it on and off until I had him. I would call the O.B. (different office), they'd have me come in and they'd check the baby and my cervix and everything would be fine. So who knows. It still makes me very nervous. I was doing pretty good (nerve-wise) up until this happened. It's going to be a long however many months I have left. Doug said the same thing today when I told him I can't vacuum anymore, lol. He said it's not my fault, though. He also voluntarily made dinner! And ordered me to sit down when I was just standing there doing nothing, lol. I feel bad not being able to do a whole lot, but hopefully in the end it will all be worth it if we can keep this baby cooking longer!! I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow (gotta remember to take a belly pic....someone remind me!), so let's hope we make it at LEAST another 20 weeks!

cerclage update

I had to be at the hospital at 6:15 (ugh) yesterday morning. I was scheduled for 8:30 and was surprisingly in the O.R. by 20 'til 9! I was very nervous all morning and trying not to freak out. I guess most of it was just not knowing exactly what it would feel like (I've had 2 spinals and couldn't even remember what they felt like, lol). Everyone at the hospital was very nice and reassuring. It took them longer to prep me and do the spinal (which wasn't bad at all) than it did for him to do the procedure and I was only in the O.R. for 30 minutes! It was FAST. I mentioned to the anesthesiologist that I've had 2 spinals before and headaches both times and said, "Not with mine you won't!" LOL. He didn't lie! My head doesn't hurt at all (whew!). While Dr. K. was doing the cerclage, it was the weirdest sensation. I could barely feel a thing, but when I did feel something it felt like the baby fluttering around. SO odd, but not uncomfortable at all. After he was done, he did a quick u/s and I got to see the baby for a few seconds and then he showed me the stitches (there's 2).

I got to recovery about 10 after 9 and had to wait until I could move my legs to go back to my room. That took about 30-40 minutes, I think. I was back in my room by 10. I called my mom and talked to her for about 10-15 minutes and then hung up so I could trying peeing. My bladder was SO full from the IV fluids and it really hurt! So the nurse and Doug helped me get out of bed and get in the bathroom, but I still couldn't feel my butt or midsection, lol. And I couldn't pee. So I got back in bed for awhile and then tried again. I sat on the toilet for at least 20 minutes before I finally went. That felt sooooo good, lol. And then I was allowed to go home. The peeing was the worst part of the whole thing. LOL. (Besides the I.V....my hand/wrist STILL hurts and I can't use it properly.) We were out of the hospital by noon.

I had Doug stop at Sheetz and get me a breakfast sandwich and hashbrown b/c I was starving. Then he dropped me off at my mom and dad's and went home to get some stuff done. Ryan spent the night at my mom and dad's Thursday night so we didn't have to drag him out so early. He did really well! Went to sleep fine and stayed asleep : ). And he didn't cry at all.I was having some light spotting (Dr. K. said that was normal), but late afternoon I started having some cramps, which he didn't mention so I was nervous. I called ambulatory surgery and they said it was normal, but then called back and said they thought I said I had a D&C, not a cerclage @@ <--eye roll -- and that I should call OB and talk to someone there. So I did and talked to a very nice nurse who said the cramping was probably normal and as long as it didn't become severe or turn in to pain and I didn't have heavy bleeding or a fever, I should try not to worry. Just take it easy and stay hydrated. So far...:::knock on wood::::...I haven't had any spotting or cramping since I went to bed last night. Hopefully there will be no more.

Thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers!

update!!

First off, I'm totally slacking in the belly pic department! In my defense, our DSL internet was down from Thursday to Tuesday night and we were on limited dial-up service. Anyway, here are a couple pics taken on Saturday, the day I turned 12 weeks.

I don't know WHY my face is so red!

Ryan had to get in on it ; )

I had my first trimester Down Syndrome screening yesterday (detailed u/s and bloodwork) and saw the doctor. Everything looks well with the baby and s/he is measuring right on track (well, actually 12w 6d and I was 12w 4d yesterday, but that's fine) : ). Whew! S/he was SO active! The tech had a heck of a time getting some of the measurements. LOL. I can't believe how much the baby has grown in 3 weeks! (Go back and look at the 9w 3d u/s pics!) S/he is about 3 oz. at this point. Here are a few pics:

The baby had its hands up by its face a lot of the time! Just like Ryan!

Here's a close up.

Dr. K. came in and looked through the pics the tech got of the baby and my cervix and then did a quick scan to look at the baby himself and he was pleased. Then he did an internal to check my cervix and said it was "excellent". Whew! Last visit he said it was short, so that was a relief to hear today! I've been worrying about it getting shorter. Before the screening, my risk of having a baby with DS was 1 in 940 some, I believe, and now it's down to 1 in 9872. After Dr. K. was done examining me, he asked when I wanted the cerclage done and said he could do it this week. I think we both said Friday at the same time, lol. Doug is off Friday so it works out perfectly. My mom is actually keeping Ryan overnight tonight since I'll probably have to be at the hospital around 7am tomorrow (I'll find out for sure what time later today). I am SO freaking nervous! I'll be getting a spinal block for the procedure, which makes me nervous, even though I've had them twice before for my c-sections. I don't remember them being very painful, so I guess it can't be *too bad. What I'm most worried about is getting the dang headache afterward, which I had both times before and it SUCKED. Maybe 3rd time's a charm. I hope. So please keep me in your thoughts and prayers that all goes smoothly tomorrow and I don't freak out too much and I don't get "the headache"! Thanks : ). My next appointment is January 2nd and I'll be 15w 4d and we're hoping to find out the gender! Doug will be with me at that appointment, so that would be a really great time to find out : ).

On to a little bit of Ryan news.....He is finally starting to use the potty a little bit! It started Tuesday....I caught him in the morning mid-poop and he finished on the potty, lol. And then that evening HE wanted to go on the potty (first time for that) and he actually peed several times! Yesterday was pretty crazy with my appointment and then we were at my mom and dad's. He did sit on it yesterday morning and last night and *tried to go (first time for that as well), but nothing happened. I really think he's finally getting it, though : ).

Tuesday night we took him to see Santa at the mall and we got his pic taken. He just loves Santa and isn't afraid at all : ). The first pic, the photographer threw in just b/c *he liked it (he said it looks like Ryan's thinking about what he wants for Christmas and it kinda does, but Ryan was actually in the middle of signing "horse" b/c that's what he wants, lol). We bought the 2nd one : ).

1st belly pic

Well, here's the 1st belly picture for this pregnancy! It was taken Monday night (hence why I'm in my jammies, lol) when I was 10 weeks 2 days.

That little pouch has been there since I had Zachary, but it's definitely popped a little bit in the last week. I thought I'd gained another pound (for a total gain of 2, so far), but I'm still fluctuating day to day, so I've only gained 1lb. so far. I've been wearing maternity jeans vs. my regular jeans b/c they are SO much more comfy. I have a couple pair that have just the skinny elastic band around the waist and a longer shirt covers it. Still feeling about the same, but now the nausea is really only hitting around dinner time. The past couple of nights I haven't been able to finish my dinner.

I've decided we definitely need to know if this baby is a girl or boy, if for no other reason than to know if we NEED to pick a girl's name. If we don't, then I'm not struggling through it for nothing. LOL. Doug hasn't liked ANY name I've thrown out there so far, except Megan, which we had picked when I was pregnant with Zachary, and I'm not crazy about it anymore. Here are the names he's nixed (first 4 are my absolute favorites and some of them *I don't even particularly like, I just threw them in there, lol):

Olivia
Lauren
Audrey
Lily
Briana
Josselyn
Avery
Addison
Marissa
Alyssa
Natalie
Julie
Ella
Alexandra
Ava
Joella
Rachael
Miranda
Kara
Nicole
Erica
Madelyn

I'm wondering if part of the "problem" is he's really hoping for another boy and is in denial that it *could be a girl, lol. So we will definitely be finding out by u/s what the sex of the baby is, for our sanity! I think I'll stop discussing names until then. I think we've pretty much narrowed a boy down to Ethan or Connor, though. Doug is afraid naming him Ethan would confuse Ryan b/c he rides the van and goes to school with a little boy named Ethan, but I think Ryan will "get it". I also really like the name Mason, but Doug doesn't like that one.

My next appointment is 2 weeks from today! I'll be getting the Ultra-Screen (1st trimester Down Syndrome screening). I can't wait for another u/s : ). But that also means my cerclage is only a little over 2 weeks away. EEEEK! And then the 17p injections a few weeks after that.

1st ultrasound!

I had my first u/s and doctor appointment yesterday! All looked well on the u/s, thank God :*). My mom went with me. We got to see the baby wiggling around and kicking its legs. The heart rate was 171bpm....pretty high! Maybe it's a girl....I'll be in shock if it is! LOL. S/he was measuring right on target, actually 2 days ahead of what I was figuring (and I knew that was a possibility), at 9 weeks 3 days. My due date is June 21st. Here are a couple pics : ).

S/he was laying kind of upside down. The head is towards the lower left. You can see the arms and legs.

After my u/s I saw the doctor. I had to get a pap smear and breast exam (fun stuff when your boobs hurt just when you walk, lol). Then he talked to me about the pregnancy. I go back in 3 weeks for the 1st trimester screening (I have to call today and see if my insurance will cover it)....that's on December 12th. And then he said I'll probably get my cerclage a couple days after that! I am SO nervous about that. I'll have to get a spinal for it, but it's an outpatient procedure. My 17p (progesterone) shots start at 16 weeks and I'll get them until 36 weeks if I make it that far. (I'm SO nervous about those, too!) He did say I will most likely deliver prematurely and I have a 1 in 3 chance of it, but his goal is to get me to at *least 30-34 weeks. I just wish I knew how it was going to go!

Ryan loved seeing pictures of the baby, even though I'm not sure he quite gets it yet, lol. But we'll keep explaining it to him and talking to him about it and hopefully it will prepare him. I need to get some good books to read to him about becoming a big brother : ). He says "baby" all the time and points to my belly : ). And then he says, "Bigger, bigger, bigger!" b/c I told him that's what the baby (and my belly) is going to do. LOL.

I'll start posting belly pics soon!

carrying on a tradition

Not long after we found out Zachary was on the way, we were at Walmart and decided to pick a boy outfit and girl outfit from the clearance rack. Zachary never got to wear the boy outfit, but Ryan did when he was a baby : ). (We ended up giving the girly one away.)

We were at Walmart last night and decided to do it again : ). We let Ryan pick between 2 different onesies in each gender. Here's what he picked:

Also, when we find out the sex of the baby, we'll probably use the gender appropriate onesie to announce it to our family and friends : ). It really just hit me last night that this baby COULD actually be a GIRL, lol. I think I will be shocked just for the simple fact that I've never heard, "It's a girl!". LOL. I am so freaking excited to find out what this belly bean is! We could potentially know in like 8 weeks! Wow!

1st appointment

Nothing exciting to report! This appointment was just with the nurse, going over my history and her telling me about what testing was available and all that happy stuff. She was super nice and when she was asking me things about Zachary she said she was so sorry she had to ask me all of that and said she felt bad. I told her it was okay, though. She couldn't believe all that I've (we've) been through. She told me she hopes things go well this time. After we were done with the paperwork she went to ask the doctor if he wanted an u/s done at my appointment next Monday. He did, to check my cervix (and the baby, too, I hope!). The only u/s appointment they had available for Monday was at 7am and my appointment wasn't until 10:30. They said they'd talk to the u/s techs and see if they could squeeze me in around my appointment. They called me this afternoon and said they switched my appointment to Tuesday instead. My u/s is at 2:30 and then my appointment. I can't wait! Hopefully all is well. At that appointment we'll discuss my cerclage and probably schedule it. If I get it my 14th week, that's the week of Christmas! One good thing is Doug is off work that whole week, so he'll already be home : ). The holidays go by so fast, that will be here in no time!

After my appointment, I went down for my bloodwork and urinalysis. Hopefully I didn't mess the urine sample up b/c there was a very detailed sheet on exactly how to go about doing it, lol. Then when she did my bloodwork my left arm wasn't cooperating. She was able to get a few vials out, but then had to switch to my right arm, which was gushing. Now both my arms are sore : P. The things we go through for our kids...hehe. J/K...b/w is nothing ; ).

They have a new Down Syndrome test out now that you can get done in your first trimester. One part is bloodwork and the other is an u/s. The bloodwork can be done between 9 weeks and 13 weeks 6 days and the u/s is done between 11 weeks 1 day and 13 weeks 6 days. I'll probably get it done just to get the u/s ; ). I'll be getting a lot of u/s's anyway to check my cervix, but this will probably be the first detailed u/s. I just love u/s's. I'm undecided on the quad screen at this time (which is done in the 2nd trimester). I have to talk to Doug more about it. With the high false negative rate, I'm not sure it's worth it. And I really don't think I would terminate if anything was wrong. I guess I can't say for sure because I've never been there done that, but I don't think I could go through with it.

Okay, that's all I'm going to type for now! I'll post after my appointment next week, possibly before ; ). Thanks for reading!

one more week

A week from today is my nurse appointment! Then the following Monday is my 1st appointment with the doctor (and I'm hoping an u/s). So far it's gone pretty fast since I found out I was pregnant and I'm happy about that. I hate to wish the time away, but I do want it to go fast (and smooth)! I'm guessing I'm 7 weeks today. Not as tired as I was, but still more tired than usual. And holy moly are my boobs SORE! LOL. It seems especially first thing in the morning. I can't remember when they stopped hurting for me before, but I hope it's soon. I'm feeling hungry and sick at the same time a lot lately, lol. This baby seems to have a sweet tooth : /. I am not one to normally want to eat sweet things, but I'm really hungry for them lately! I'm trying to curb those cravings, lol. So far I've gained about a pound. Not bad, I guess. My regular jeans are already getting tight from the bloating, though. I guess I'll try to start posting some belly pics soon. There's not much to see yet!

Trick or treat night was a bust. We hit about 8 houses and then Ryan got very uncooperative. Doug ended up carrying him back home and then I took him to my mom and dad's for awhile so they could see him in his costume. My sister and her boyfriend and friends decorated the house all up and Ryan LOVED it. We've yet to find a Halloween decoration/costume he's afraid of yet! Here's a couple pics of him in his costume, both taken over at Doug's mom and dad's before T or T.

the tests

I don't really have much to update. I just wanted to see if I can figure out how to put pics in my posts, so I'm going to try to stick my pregnancy test pics in here. Let's see...





This is the first one I took. It's from the Dollar Tree and I didn't totally trust it, lol. The line is really, really light (if you can even see it on here). I barely can.

And this one I went and bought at Walmart and took the same afternoon. It came up positive right away! It's blurry, but you can see it!






I'm at the least 6 weeks 1 day today...I'm pretty sure that's how far along I am. So I've officially made it past the point where I started spotting when I miscarried. And I still feel pregnant! In fact, I think morning sickness is kicking in. Certain foods (even just thinking about them) are starting to turn my stomach. I was cleaning out the fridge this morning and almost hurled and there wasn't even anything science experiment worthy in there. LOL. I'm welcoming it, though, because it's reassuring. I think I'll probably get my first ultrasound November 19th. I can't wait! I've also been thinking about how exciting it will be to find out the sex. I am going to be super excited EITHER way : ). So that's awesome. I know Doug is really hoping for another boy, though. It *would be easier. But I will be thrilled with a girl, too. (Our bank account might not be, though...hehehe. I just LOVE all the cute baby girl clothes.) My nerves are still getting the best of me at times, but I'm trying not to worry too much since it won't help anyway!



On to non-pg related news, if anyone is interested. Tomorrow is Halloween and also trick-or-treat night. Ryan is going as Elmo. This is the first year that he's really excited about going and understands. He's very excited about getting candy, lol. My mother-in-law and I took him and my niece and nephew trick-or-treating at the mall last week, but it was super crowded and not very fun. The weather has cooled down here lately, but tomorrow's supposed to be the warmest day of the week (they're saying 60 degrees around T or T time)......imagine that! The weather actually cooperating, lol.



Oh well, this is getting pretty long. I sure typed a lot for not having much to update ; ).

:::yawn:::

I never knew how exhausting being pregnant could be! I never really got tired with Zachary and Ryan, even in the beginning. But fatigue was one of my symptoms when I got pregnant in July and it's back with a vengeance this time! By the time 3pm rolls around, I am fighting to keep my eyes open, and I'm in bed by 9. I think I'm going to have to start trying to nap when Ryan is in school. When he's home it's hit or miss on whether or not he'll nap. Other than being tired (and having a slight cold), I'm feeling pretty good otherwise. No morning sickness yet, but I definitely do still feel pregnant. I can't believe I have another 3 weeks to go until my first appointment! I hope it goes by fast. I'm so nervous about miscarrying again. It sucks to have to inspect the toilet paper every time you go to the bathroom. But what sucks even more is that even when I get out of the 1st trimester, I'll still have worries, just different ones. Sometimes I'll let myself sit and daydream about having a big ol' belly and not being able to see my feet and having trouble sleeping and being able to see the baby move from the outside and all that stuff. But most of the time I just try to live in the moment b/c I've now had 2 pregnancies that did not end in bringing a baby home. So it's hard for me to imagine that day. Even with Ryan we weren't sure it would ever come. I wish I could be one of those naive pregnant women again whose biggest worry was what theme to decorate the nursery or what to name the baby. But to me being pregnant is scary and it's hard for me to remember what it was like when I was pregnant with Zachary and not knowing what was coming and being one of those naive pregnant women. And now I also worry about something being wrong with the baby. I guess I've seen/read too many sad stories on the interenet. Oh well. I just gotta hope and pray for the best and know that what happens is what is meant to be and that God knows what he's doing ; ).

results...

I just got my bloodwork results back. Things are looking good! My numbers doubled like they should and my progesterone is good. YAY : ). I do have a good feeling so far this time. I actually feel pregnant, unlike in June/July when I was pregnant. Then I just had sore boobs and I was tired and peeing a lot. I have that now, along with heartburn and an odd feeling in my stomach like something is going on in there. I had that with Ryan right away, too. It wasn't there my last pregnancy and that had me worried. I've also been feeling kinda yucky after eating sometimes. My first appointment (nurse in-take) is on November 12th (that seems SO far away!) and then I see the doctor a week later. I'll be 8-9 weeks then. I hate to say this, but I hope this pregnancy flies by b/c it's going to be nervewracking! HOPEFULLY it will be smooth sailing (oh God, I hope so). At least I have Ryan to keep me busy this time around!!

By the way, bloodwork SUCKED this morning. She tried my left arm first and couldn't get it...that wasn't too bad. Then when she did the right, it HURT really bad the whole time and for like 2 hours afterwards. I've never had that happen before. It's still a little sore : P.

Shocked!

We weren't even trying this month, but I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive!! After my miscarriage in July I'm pretty darn nervous. I called my doctor's office today and they're sending me for bloodwork tomorrow and Monday to make sure my hCG levels are doubling and my progesterone levels are okay. Send me lots of sticky baby vibes! I'll update when I get my results on Tuesday. My estimated due date is June 23rd!

2ww

Well, I am definitely in my 2 week wait, but I think the only thing I'm waiting for is AF to show up. I'm not even sure exactly when I ovulated (b/c of being sick), but I know it did happen already b/c I'm back to normal and my temps are back to normal and they're in the "post ovulation" range. I will fall over dead from shock if I actually got pregnant this cycle, lol. Things have still been slow in "that department" around here lately, for one reason or another. Oh well, better luck next cycle! Doug and I are going to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix tomorrow. YAY! This will be our first time seeing a H.P. movie in the theater. We're going to the matinee and Doug's parents are keeping Ryan. We're meeting them at the Cambria County Fair afterwards. It will be Ryan's first time. Hopefully we'll have fun! I know one thing...I am NOT riding anything there! LOL. Regular amusement park rides make me nervous enough, let alone rides that are taken down and set up frequently. :::shudder:::

grrrr...

We are now on our 2nd cycle of TTC since my miscarriage in July. I've been charting since April to keep track of my cycles since I don't ovulate the same day every cycle. Basically I rely solely on my temps because I suck at checking other fertile signs. Anyway, right now we are all sick and even I've been running a fever, so my chart is all wacky. I'm not sure if I ovulated or not yet, but the site I chart my info on says I did. I'm on Cycle Day (CD) 16 and I normally ovulate between days 14 and 21, so it's possible. I'm just not sure, though. Needless to say we haven't been in any condition really to BD (Baby Dance=sex), so who knows what our chances will be this month! I guess I should say now that these blogs will probably contain a good bit of TMI (Too Much Information). If you don't like it, don't read it ; ). For those that chart or know about it: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/jendzr99